Sunday, March 2, 2008

Australia says no to Emo

Ive noticed over the past few years a trend that seems to be grabbing hold of certain youths. I believe it is called EMO, which is apparently short for 'EMOtioanl', or maybe it stands for Eat My Orrifice. Not entirely sure, but the one thing I do know is this disease needs fighting.
Seeing as it is popular to pay out on these emotional charged teens I decided to do my research in order to assertain the reason for this. So after a quick intenet search I found this posted on someone's myspace or some other teen bonding site.

love da page!!!
i think evry1 is a emo at heart...
i used to b a emo...
couldnt take all da names ppl called me
so i stopped...
but im still a emo at heart!!
so ive become a fan!!
ive got a few emo pics if ya wanna copy them!!!
do my emo qiuz!!

luv ya's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This message trailed away into a lot of X's that seemed to form a picture of a tattooed youth cutting himself on the penis whilst touching another boy.
It is becoming all too clear. First thing that bothered me was the terrible abreviations for some of this simplest words in the English language, second was the fact that my IQ seemed to drop for a brief moment whilst reading it.
But this wasn't enough, I had to find more of a reason before I could completely commit to being an EMO basher. Then I found some photo's of a heavily tattooed young man who looked like he eats kittens in his spare time.
This brings me to my next point, the EMO "style". It seems to comprise of a lot of hair dye and gel and possibly a lack of sunlight for the past 10 years.
The easiest method for gaining this look is to apply your hair gel then jump off a roof into a deep bucket of black hair dye, this gives you that windswept cunt look. Next you simply dress as though you are a child trying to be cool then climb into the nearest wardrobe and stay there for about a year, this gives you that nice white skin that is craved so much.
Worst part is I never knew of the existance of these little bastards until I left high school, probably because I was too busy being normal. For some reason they make me feel so old, even though I am only 21.
So remember kiddies if a strange man dressing in black who is covered in tatooes, with stupid black hair and a stud through his lip approaches you and asks if you want to go to a club where people pee on each other, Falcon Punch him where his testicles once were.


Nathan Green said...

Ahh the i agree 10 fold. There were many emo's at my highschool, it was great fun. Well...Not really.

But yeah i love it how they all wear the same thing being 'individuals' and all, but being just like all the other emo's

I mean can't they just grow up and handle their emotions like normal people, half of them arn't even sad, and they are like rich and well off, they just want attention so they just act like fags,

They all need several falcon punches followed by taking a page from sub zeros book and ripping there heads off with their spines still attached

Mitch said...

I have designed a cunning plan. I've done some research into a great muscian that goes by the name of the pied piper. NOW I presume you know of this man so I wont go into too much detail. But I figured. Dangle a box of razor blades and a 12 month subscription to Cosmopolitan over the side of a cliff. And then play a Jazz Fusion of BOTH My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy throughout the city. We may possibly end this pointless craze, once and for all. WHO'S WITH ME111!!!!1