Well the good news i have finally found a new job, and for those of you who don't know i work in a nursing home, primarily serving tea to old folk who can't remember their own name and then spending the rest of the shift trying to understand what the indains are saying.
You see, i am in a huge minority at work as i am white, male, Australian and able to speak English. One of two people who fit this description.
Now i am not intending to be racist here, ive had plenty of friends from overseas, i don't think i have een dated a girl who was even born in this country.
This makes my job quite difficult as a simply question such as, "what do i do with the thickened fluids?", is met with a response that sounds something like, "yu phut ut un de rim und the cerer guv ut to the resident"????
It is thanks to this language gap i wasn't shown how to do my job properly and all the residents in C wing didn't get any fluids for 2 days.
So to try and find humour in my new situation i have thought of a plan. whenever i say something that the indians don't understand they simply look at me and say "yes", and then pretend they understand.
So to test their english skills i am going to throw in some random words whenever i am speaking.
the contenders are: hippopotimus, cleft, genintal herpes, bifurcate (i don't know what it means either but is apparenetly a real word). Once again i appologise to anyone offended by my harsh, non politically correct words, but you know me......bastard till the end!!!