I am back now after a bit of writers block, so never fear all three of you who sometimes read this blog, there's more hilarity to follow.
I attended a barbeque the other night, thrown by a good friend of mine. Now you normaly wouldn't think that a party would be the place for dark thoughts, but i can safely say i wanted to commit mass murder that night.
Picture the scene, a long table at which about 12 girls and only 2 guys only one of whom was straight (that was me!) were seated. At my half of the table there were a group of people who i would classify as dear friends who have been matured by several years in the workforce, and at the other end a gagggle of women and gay men who had the collective intelligence of a 3 year old. Normally i can handle really stupid and annoying people (yes i know, i can sometimes be one) simply by using words with more than 2 syllables, but they started doing something that really bugs me.
They started taking photos of themselves with a camera held at arms length.
Oh come on Dan, i hear you say, get over it they're only having fun!
Well i am going to have to politely ask you to cram that up your arse. You see, i have this deeply held belief that photos taken from arms length will be the reason for the collapse of western society.
I can understand the principle behind it. Take photos of yourself having fun, but why take a photo where the end result is a blurry shot of your upper arm and two people grinning like a school boy who just caught a sneak peak up his class mates skirt.
You know all the flashing lights at nightclubs, that isn't strobe lighting intending to create a party atmosphere. oh no that is the result of hundreds of drunk girls taken shots of the druken arms.
It is for the above reasons, i spent about an hour wishing the camera that was having it memory card crammed with the same photo of lesser intelligence would explode in a cloud of idiot killing gas.
i would like to appeal to all the people who find what i am saying offensive, to please please stop! I am not alone in my beliefs, there are many others who want to slap you.
The asians got it right, they at least ask you to take their photo so when they return home from a long trip Kodaking Australia they can at least show semi decent photos of themselves to their friends.
Right i am done now. Apologies to anyone who got angry reading this, unless you take photos at arms length then we shall duel at dawn.